Happy September.
One step closer to Autumn
I'm not saying….
….I understand anything about her but… I do not understand about the whole cake mix thing. She says she will bake a cake…with this cake mix…if she gets some arbitrary number of subscribers. The whole thing is so stupid I don't have the capacity to even try to think about it. The main question is Who Cares? Is there someone in the world that will subscribe so she can bake a cake? What if she lies and bakes the cake any way?……yeah, okay…WHO CARES? Is this what passes as content nowadays? We're doomed.
“My falconry practice is humble and focused, but few things make me as excited as starting a whole new relationship with something so wild and beautiful that chooses to spend a little time with me, too.”
ReplyDeleteShe’s neither “humble” nor “focused.” The poor bird victims are trapped in her hovel against their choices. It’s unnatural for them to hang on her hot lamp as an accessory. It’s always all about her ego, and the pretense of posing as an authentic falconer. No animal “chooses to spend a little time” with the filthy feral farmer. They’re imprisoned by her. Perhaps, the same can be said for humans. Judging by her lack of romantic relationships, and how fast the last one fled from her putrid presence.
Yeah, the birds are just gleeful about being held hostage in her hovel for months without the freedom to fly away. Her lies about helping them are a crock of crap. They already know instinctively how to hunt, cunt.
DeleteHer treatment of trapped raptors is sub-par, like everything else she does to animals. They spend hours inside her stuffy, dirty building and she seldom exercises them. In fact, she's only "legitimately " released two. Fake farmer craves attention, hence hawk photos for social media likes.
DeleteTo her ignorant followers: the trapped raptor "hunts" because she keeps it hungry; that's the reason for weighing the bird, dummies.
So she is hawking “future lamb shares” on Twitter. With a picture of an old sheep. By my estimation, her current sheep are at least a year old, if not two. If that’s whose meat she is selling, that’s not lamb, it’s mutton. There is a huge difference fat and flavor-wise.
ReplyDeleteMutton is not popular in the U.S. - it tends to be stronger tasting and rather tough. If that's what she's selling, it's a mystery why she would let the sheep get that old, as she's fed them longer and will get a lower price. As usual, none of her "farming" practices make any sense.
Deletewhen she talks about trapping her new bird what comes to my mind right away is the movie Misery with Cathy Bates. I think the birds feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteIt’s been two months of zero posts on her blog. I find this so interesting since blogging is an important part of keeping her identity as a writer. No blog, no new book, no paid articles…
ReplyDeleteThat right there tells you everything you need to know. And she can retweet all the excuses and spins apologist Twitter offers her, but this is still the reality of her credibility as a writer. None.
DeleteThere are no new posts because she has NOTHING new to write about. She doesn't have a job, she doesn't farm, the girlfriend fled -- thus are no new homesteading projects...and it's been awhile since Taylor Swift released a new album.
DeleteAll she does is wake up, drink pricey hipster coffee, carry buckets of water/feed, tweet beg, surf the internet, watch TV, eat, tweet beg some more, drive to get ice cream, melt soap, do art, eat again, carry more buckets of water/feed, re-tweet earlier begs, eat some cast iron monstrosity, watch more TV, try to sleep, eat cheese at the top of stairs in anxiety-ridden state, and finally, sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat X 10 odd years.
You forgot smoke weed*
DeleteLol, you're right! And probably booze as well.
DeleteOh, look. A load of pre-seasoned, cut and split firewood, delivered by gas-guzzling truck to fake farmer's back door. She only has to waddle about 20 feet to pick it up.
ReplyDeleteSo much for her fake narrative of harvesting her own trees, finding wood at the sides of the road, or splitting logs.
She's such a fraud.
"Firewood" is the working title of her new book
DeleteWhy is the cats head on backwards in her new original art print? Confused! Glad she is buying wood instead of paying her mortgage... I mean where would she find wood in upstate NY? Impossible, I’ll tell you that much for free! ( my 80plus year old mother in law sourced her whole winter for free this year although she will need some labor to get it cut into wood stove sized pieces.)
ReplyDeleteJ does not seem at all concerned about paying the mortgage, there are no frantic posts about it.. very curious. Will she suddenly at the last minute have the money? Probably, then she will say she only has .02 in her bank account. What about the car? She went for ice cream again so she’s driving something 🤷♀️
Lol...it's worse! She drove the car for the sole purpose of buying an ice cream cone! What a waste of gasoline and money.
DeleteAnon, your comment about wood is exactly right. There's been a huge amount of free wood available this year in the NE. This week, for example, our local Facebook group posted about oak logs that are on the side of the road - there for free pick up.
DeleteBut instead of hustling up free firewood, she's spent her time binging on premium TV shows, posting IG stories and begging for money for cut, seasoned and split firewood (delivered to her back door).
PDD
Yes, it's very strange that she hasn't been begging for the overdue August mortgage like usual. Perhaps she had a small windfall and is saving the begging for September's?
DeletePeople who think she’s a bad ass farmer have no clue and probably live in the city. She isn’t, she isn’t even a bad ass homeowner, she shouldn’t be getting wood last minute like this when she should be working all year to procure and stack wood. If you choose to use wood as heat, then you need to keep up with it. You can’t have zero in July and then try to get enough for winter. She should have wood seasoning on the property year round and working on building a store so she’s set. I have a remote control to start my gas fireplace but even I know what to do to heat with wood!!
ReplyDelete💯💯💯💯💯
DeleteYou're right. She's just bad, period. And an ass.
DeleteSpeaking of heat, it's been crazy hot here in CA. 112 degrees a few days ago, 108 degrees today. I sure picked a bad week to begin erecting a temple in her honor.
LOL sorry you were inspired only to have your efforts thwarted by the weather! Go stalk Taylor Swift and you’ll feel better!
DeleteAnon7, I tried to find a good temple design...but couldn't find one that's
Delete😬 Based on faulty premises
🤢 About to topple over and
🤮 Filled with crap
Stay cool out there!
PDD
I was considering building it with empty toilet paper rolls, but alas, I don't have nearly enough as I'm not as full of shit as she is.
DeleteFrom one of her recent tweets:
ReplyDelete"Sales are so hard to come by now, but every sale keeps this place going while I work to get this book to my agent and sold."
Once again, the lazy ass is trying to keep people "tethered to her potential" for the sake of pity sales. Translation: "Please, you just have to buy from me cuz I'm trying sooooo hard!"' and "I can't work a real job cuz I'm sooooo busy writing a book!" Pathetic. Especially since she's been working on this "book" for 5 years now. Hint: It's not happening anytime soon. If ever.
On Twitter and Instagram she posted a video of herself playing her ukulele at a friends farm. And it's actually kinda charming as the horse walks straight over to her, clearly enamored by the sound of music. Now THIS is the type on content that she should be producing. It's whimsical and much more interesting than Taylor Swift and sales beg re-tweets.
ReplyDeleteIt's less charming when you know it's Pember Patty's farm *again* and PP is probably standing behind Pig Shocker with a bag of carrots in order to entice her horse.
DeletePP = Her. Only. Friend.
Ha ha! I didn't think of that. You're probably right!
DeleteJenna started her new book a few years ago and the premise was how the “farm” saved her. I wonder if the more she tries to write the more she realizes her life is not in a great place. I think her finding love with Shannon was going to be a large part of the book but now that she is long gone, there isn’t really anything for Jenna to write about.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right. I believe the big finale she was working up to was another proclamation of “I’ve made it!”, but when Shannon ditched her, that finale crumbled. With her life and finances in shambles now, there is no big finale, no way for her to once again claim that she made it, as she and everyone who has seen her tweets knows she is in a constant beg and foreclosure mode. And you’d think she still remembers what happened the first time she proclaimed she had made it-she got shut down, refuted and ridiculed by literally everyone out there.
DeleteHere's the best title for her new book:
Delete"The Kindness of Strangers" or
How I Survive and Thrive Thanks to Gullible People
I'll give her that for free.
PDD
I agree with the comments on her new book. But I think she has left out the part where she has slowly, month by month, beg by beg, created her own hell. She knows what she had and threw away and that IS hell.
ReplyDeleteJude
Yeah, she really did create her own hell. She reminds me of those one hit wonder rock stars. They have a taste of success too early and think it will last forever. She's probably still wondering what the hell happened.
DeleteI still chuckle when remembering that she thought her "I made it" story was so special and unique, that there was a chance Hollywood might come calling to make a film about her, lol.
DeleteYeah, I especially want to see the scene where she *almost* has the down payment for the farm and then turns to her readers to say, "That's where you come in, folks." What a success story!
She can't sell her story anymore because the holes in her stories are do large now that over 10 years has past.
ReplyDeletePeople who want to build a rural / off grid / farm based life for themselves KNOW she is not paying the bills with soap or books or art because they can do math. Even if they did believe it, no one wants the life she models -panic and begging and snark.
She tried to pivot to "queer woman sober" storyline ie "this farm saved me" but that's obviously not true either. There are hundreds of published queer and trans folks who own farms and are working their assess off. The market is full of actual inspiring stories. Jenna is not even sober! She has to be smoking on the daily!
She has no story to sell anymore. She is not working hard, she's not doing anything different, and she has garish character flaws tainting every rare memoir, sporadic blog post, and repetitive tweet.
She must compartmentalize her life to the point where she is delusional to think that no one is going to notice that she is bragging about being a success, all the while still begging daily. We all can see the big picture...why can't she?
DeleteHow many new things can you spy in Jenna's living room, that you have not seen before?
ReplyDeleteThere's that new guitar she said she wanted before seeking her old one for "rent"
https://www.reddit.com/r/coldantlercritics/comments/x72jd2/how_many_new_purchases_in_this_photo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
My son and his dad collect guitars so I showed them this pic and they said it's an Epiphone (mid-range guitar) and they go for $200-$500 on average. They don't believe she could've gotten it for less than $200, unless she got a sweet deal so maybe $150 at the very least.
DeleteOr maybe she found it for free at her lucky dump!!
That's an old photo with the goat wandering into the house....She talks about that guitar in an old post from 2009 on her old blog.
DeleteP.B.
That's an old, old photo. Twitter and Instagram are intended for current photos (unless otherwise stated), but she constantly uses / recycles old photos to suggest she still has those animals. She also adds photos from other properties, without attribution, to seem more "farmy" to her ignorant followers.
DeleteAt one time, I kept track of her disingenuous "fake farm fotos " but she lied so often, I couldn't keep up - so I quit.
PDD
Thanks PDD for cross-posting the original photo from the old blog. If you want to repost old photos, fine, but posting old photos as current photos is deceptive.
DeleteBy the way, did she post anything more about that tooth she claimed to crack two weeks ago and could not easy solid food?
ReplyDeleteNope. Not a word. As is her MO, if one of her emergency crises does not gain immediate traction (i.e. pity comments/donations) she ditches it and moves on to the next manufactured disaster.
DeleteSame with the ankle, and the expensive rental car, and the unresponsive insurance agent.
DeleteAnkle, mortgage, firewood, car accident, storm, bathroom floor fix, chicken massacre because that rotten Shannon left the AC at Jenna’s when she fled...I may have missed something but it was a banner begging summer!!! Very quiet now and only begging for hay and firewood- firewood that she should not be paying for in the first place. Hey ho- someone has to post non stop on IG about Taylor Swift it might as well be her!
ReplyDeleteHow high was she when she posted this photo:
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/coldantlerfarm/status/1566057725624188931/photo/1
Did she take it while running past it? Did she snap it in the dark with a flash light? did she take it through the buttonhole of her unwashed flannel while creeping a neighbour's property to make it look like this pumpkin is on her farm? How TF does someone who claims to make their whole ass living off social media post this kind of photo to their feed????
I’ll tell you this much for free:
ReplyDeleteBoth the August and September mortgages are now past due.
The October mortgage is due in 23 days, and overdue in 28.
I bet one of the following happens here shortly- a nasty letter from the bank, a red van driving by and taking photos, and a brand new cracked molar. Maybe the rental company takes the rental car back, to boot.
"Hey all! Trying to make a sale every day, averaging about one every 4. Still working on the August mortgage on top of firewood and hay for winter, and every single sale helps make that possible. Please share the thread below it could make all the difference! THANK YOU!"
ReplyDeleteShe's claiming to live off of one sale every 4 days. For her a sale is $100 or less. More proof she has other income.
Yes, according to her the mortgage is behind, but she's been lying about the mortgage for years. She always seems to say she's nearly three months behind in October, and says it's because she's buying firewood instead of paying the mortgage.
I don't know why she thinks the firewood chronicles are that interesting. If she's going to make shit up, you'd think she'd try her hand at a different lie once in a while.
Hey, Jenna. Why don't you bag groceries or something. You know, get a job and pay your own bills.
DeleteShe has not been on Twitter or IG at all today.. wonder what dramatic event she’s got cooking??!!
ReplyDeleteyeah I noticed she hasn't been on twitter for several days now I don't do IG and can only check in on twitter but I don't know how to do it and it blocks me after a few seconds. She must be out playing like a fool as no work being done. No cracked molar, no rental car, no dead deers, life must be so boring is all I can say.
DeleteShe has one post on her ig stories today, maybe leftover from yesterday.
DeleteHer latest IG pic says it was posted 3 days ago. Very very curious. Either something actually bad happened OR it’s just manufactured BS attention grabbing drama she is getting ready for mid September. Usually she isn’t able to fart without telling the InterNetS!!
DeleteCast my vote for frittering away time, more than usual. She's probably late with orders and can't post pics/video of her wasting time because, maybe, somehow, someone will figure out her word is useless.
DeleteShe plays while poodles pay.
My $0.02
PDD
Correction: Her grandmother died and she attended the funeral. For once, she didn't lie. Condolences to FF. It's hard to lose close family.
DeletePDD
Watch her try to milk and manipulate this for money mooching. She’s done it before.
DeleteJenna’s despicable enough to make her grandma’s death all about her.
DeleteCondolences to the family. WIW
ReplyDeleteHow did she get to Pa. for the funeral if her car isn't fixed? Oh I see it is working now. She will turn this all around about her before it is all over with. Funny never read about her grandmother in all her posting for 10 years now. hhhhmmmm
ReplyDeleteHer grandma passed away and the funeral was Thursday in Pennsylvania. I don't know if she attended.
ReplyDeleteOops yes I see she did attend. Granny was 96 but she hadn't seen her in years. That I'll tell you for free.
ReplyDeleteMost people, when they lose a member of their immediate family, are overcome with grief about the lost one. Reflective on their loved one's life, they pay tribute to the deceased. Not Jenna, who posted this:
ReplyDelete"Back from 24hrs in PA for a funeral. My grandmother passed away at 96. Friends took care of the farm for me, and me and the dogs had a road trip with a good friend who came along. Grateful for the community, pet friendly hotels, and good weather. Feeling a lot today."
That's it. One line about her grandmother: "My grandmother passed away at 96."
Nothing else. The rest of the post was all about Jenna, of course.
But don't worry, Fake Farmer will likely soon draft a fictionalized emotional thread about her grandmother to try and gain sympathy. Tapping into poodle emotions opens wallets for that folding money.
PDD
well come on now she was grateful for pet friendly hotels!!!! Nothing about good old grandma but pet friendly hotels.
DeleteWell, not everyone is close with their grandparents. That's how I interpret this. You'd think a writer who at one point had a decent platform from writing about her own life would have done something more thoughtful, even if her relationship with this family member was complicated.
DeleteFWIW, some people aren't close with their immediate family either. I'm not that close with my family of origin. There are a lot of reasons I moved to the other side of the country. Jenna's been pretty transparent that her relationship with her parents is complicated. I'd guess she didn't have a simple unconditional love relationship with her grandmother either.
DeleteThere's no way to know how the complexity in her family relationship started. Sometimes it is the kid, sometimes it's just very different personalities, sometimes it's siblings having totally different experiences with the same parents.
Given the wider context of how Jenna has become so selfish, scammy, and self-involved over the years, it wouldn't shock me if I learned her grandmother was a sweet old lady who sent her $50 every year on her birthday without so much as a thank you from Jenna.
But given *how* Jenna has turned out, she could be a product of a shitty family dynamic.
Yes, most people would write more than she did and sound more caring. Or write nothing! Granny was in a home so I'm sure there's not much folded money to leave, plus she has parents who would likely be the ones to inherit. I'm wondering if they sent her the couple hundred needed to attend? And yes she has parents and a sister and multiple cousins she could stay with all in the same town. PLUS who needs a "pet friendly hotel" if you have friends to watch your place for 24 hours?? Leave the pets at home!
Delete"You'd think a writer who at one point had a decent platform..."
DeleteA 'writer' wouldn't say "me and the dogs." Ugh.
How did she get a “pet friendly” hotel without a credit card? 🤷♀️ Why couldn’t she stay with her parents? Maybe the “good friend “ paid for it? Also, on IG she posted the car she was in and it was red.... her deer struck car was silver right? So the rental? Her friend’s car?
ReplyDeleteI thought exactly the same. How would she pay for a road trip when she hasn’t paid the last two mortgages, but also for the pet friendly hotel, and without a credit card? I also wondered why not stay with family, even if not the parents.
Delete@Trapping has started in earnest. I am out there looking for my next hawk. Usually morning and evening rounds, but right now I am home working on soap making and two pet portraits before I hit the road again.”
ReplyDeleteHere she goes again. The filthy feral farmer is hunting for her next poor bird victim. She doesn’t care about conservancy. It’s all about her pretentious posing. What an insufferable cunt.
“Trapping…
DeleteShe also has to mention her pathetic pet portraits, and stupid melt & pour soap, as an excuse for money mooching later in the month.
DeleteShe's looking for a hawk - which means we're full circle from last year, when Shannon was asking her *not* to take on another time / money suck while she (Shannon) was paying more than her half.
ReplyDeleteI infer this conversation based on Jenna's posts at the time, saying she and Shannon wanted savings, vacation, ease etc., basically a partner saying Jenna had no business putting time an energy into a hobby while claiming bills were unpaid. Common sense. Like we've been saying for years.
And it's no coincidence that less than two weeks after Shannon left, Jenna went and caught that poor kestrel out of spite. Poor thing likely died in her care, as they're more delicate than red tailed hawks, and as per usual, there was no release documentation. When Shannon was there with the bird the year before - we had documentation up that wazoo, including a release video. Maybe Hamish will tell the other birds to steer clear.
Speaking of falconry - wasn't Jenna saying she was going to mentor some teenager with her first bird this year?
ReplyDeleteYes she bragged that’s she was going to mentor a teen and her father ( I think) but then it hasn’t been mentioned again.
DeleteHer life is so chaotic and drama filled, it’s no wonder she can’t find a relationship. Most individuals want some stability in a relationship. In your 20’s, a little drama is fun, in your 40’s, no thanks!!!